June 2, 2014

I don't know how it is possible for a mission to move so slowly and so super fast all at the same time! It's a pretty incredible phenomenon if you ask me.

This last week was a little slow. Good ol' Sister White was a sicky and so we stayed in a lot. Which is why it was a little slow. But that's alright, I got some good study time in :) 

We had a lesson with our fabulous recent convert who I love so dearly! She's basically our Albania Mom :) We walk into our lesson and surprise! she has a whole meal made up for us. She was so proud of that meal, I was so touched. We also know that she isn't employed and so feeding us can't have been easy on the wallet for her. It was so sweet though, I can't even tell you the smile she had on her face to feed us lunch. It was pasta, chicken and salad and wow was that chicken actually really good. So we're eating and of course she tells us to eat more because that's what Albanian's do and so I get another piece of chicken and I take a bite.... hmmm.... I cut off another piece and look at it reeeaaalll close. Yup. Definitely not done cooking. Oh goodness. I had definitely eaten a few bites of uncooked chicken. I know I'm a missionary and all, but salmonella russian roulette is not a game that I want to play. So I don't know what to do. I didn't want to offend her because she was just so stinkin' proud of that meal.... but I also didn't want to die.... sooo.... right as I'm thinking that her son calls her into the other room. Miracle! hahaha I immediately seized the moment, wrapped the chicken in a napkin and stuck it in my purse and then prayed a prayer of gratitude to Heavenly Father hahaha My bag still smells like chicken but I am pleased to announce that there was no food poisoning over here :)

We teach the advanced english class here in our ward. It's pretty fun, I really like it. They keep asking us about slang words, they really like to learn slang I guess. One of the kids wanted to know what "freaking" meant. So we told him. Then we started the class with a prayer, he says the prayer and I quote... "I hope this class gets freaky awesome as usual." I'm sure Heavenly Father got a good laugh out of that one :)

Ya know what always makes me laugh? Showing people my family photo. There are usually always 4 things that happen. 

1- "Oh my goodness! Little dogs! Aaaahhhhhhh!! I can't even handle how cute and little they are!! Oh my little cutie pie! I just want to squeeze him! hahahaha They are soooo cuuuuuuuuttttteeeeee" (obviously not a literal translation, but you get the idea)

2- "Wait.... the bangs... that's you? How is that you? Your hair is different. And you're fatter now." ........ Thank you. I really wanted to know that I'm fatter now ... *sigh*.... haha

3- This is when they tell me who looks like who. It's usually pretty different who they think looks like who... but one thing is consistent, they always think it's pretty darn funny how different Chris looks hahaha

4- "Oh woooowwwww... your sister is BEAUTIFUL. Wow... wow wow wow... " Sometimes they just end it at that, buuuuuuut, I get the occasional... "She's much more beautiful than you." (ug hahahaha) or the classic "She is so beautiful.... are you jealous?" I have definitely been asked that before hahaha

So yes, it's pretty predictable. But always pretty funny :) I get a good laugh at how blunt these wonderful Albanian's are. In weird areas, too. They are blunt where we're not and aren't blunt where we are. Throws me off sometimes. But it's always really funny to see their reactions :)

As far as my thought, I was reading in the Bible. Guys. It's a really good book, you should read it (that makes it sound like I've never read it cover to cover before... and that's because you're right. I haven't haha ... I'm doing it now and I definitely have a greater appreciation for the Bible that was not there before.)

Okay, this thought is scattered, bear with me.

I was reading the story of how Stephen was martyred in the book of Acts. He's literally being stoned to death for his testimony of Jesus Christ and his last dying words as he's suffering a horrific and, as far as I can imagine, agonizing death are " Lord, lay not this sin to their charge". 

I was reading that and I was just amazed. What an unjust and horrific death and his last words are a pleading for forgiveness to them?

As I continued reading I started reading about Saul. Good ol' Saul that persecuted the saints hardcore. He even participated in the death of Stephen. In chapter 9 is where Christ appears to him and basically says, "hey, what are you doing this for Saul?" and Saul completely turns his life around. What I love later in the chapter is how the Lord prompts Ananias to go and help Saul and Ananias says, "hey, this is one bad dude... you know that right?" And Christ says "Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me." 

I love that.

After that moment, Ananias goes and Saul is baptized and later becomes Paul, one of the great apostles of the New Testament. 

Now go back to Stephen. He understood something incredible that a lot of us, myself included, often forget. That we all are children of our Heavenly Father; we all have a right to the Atonement to repent and change; and we all have incredible, divine potential. Stephen was a wonderful example of eternal perspective, of forgiveness and understanding that we have no right to hold back forgiveness if we ourselves desire forgiveness. He forgave one of the men that put him to death and that man later became an incredible apostle. 

My dad, as a lot of you know, is a pretty stellar guy. I remember one time when I was in high school, someone had done something stupid to me and I was really upset. I don't remember who or what had been done, I just remember feeling very justified in being upset and that there was nothing that I could do about it. We were driving on the freeway as I was venting my feelings of anger to him and I said something along the lines of how I really hoped that one day, he got all the justice he deserved. I will never forget what my dad said in response... 

"I hope he receives all the mercy possible because I want to be treated the same."

That moment has completely changed my life. And I think it's something that Stephen also understood.

Christ did not atone for every single person born into this earth so that we could pick and choose to whom we would offer forgiveness and mercy. 

We are all children of God.

That's something that I hope I can always remember. I think everyone has potential to be a Paul. We should always treat these people as such. 

I looooovvveeee you all :)

Motra Missy

 

 

And some other black and white photos... I'm having darkroom longing these days...

Fashion nowadays? I dunno..

And some pretty shots from my apartment window :)

Look what cutie came to visit me from Durrës!!! Completely made my whole day!!!

the elder 2nd in from the right reminds me so much of aaron! it's trippy! hahha

May 26, 2014

I feel so blessed to be here. Man, missions can be hard. That inner battle is a tough one. And there a lot more obstacles that I never thought would ever be obstacles... but it's so worth it. I feel so blessed. I am so grateful.

Everyone! It's my brother Aaron's birthday this week. Love him for me.

Let's see. Stories for the week. I don't have many...

Our district leader is on crutches right now. He split his foot open, had to get stitches and can't walk on it. Why? He dropped a toilet on his foot. I'm not going to laugh after that because it would be mean..... but it's kind of a funny story, you gotta admit :) Even he laughs! And Albanian's reactions, those are the best haha

The pictures of the girls that I sent, three of them are on baptismal date. I cannot even begin to describe how much I love them! I have also never taken my calling more seriously. Don't get me wrong, I have always taken it seriously. But these sweet young girls, they watch us and look up to us in every way. I am so careful about how I act and what I say and everything that I do. These girls are so precious. They deserve a good example and I am doing my very best to make sure that I am worthy to be wearing this name tag for them.

It's starting to get really warm. I'm nervous for this... because that means that our schedule is going to change. Once it gets really hot, people start sleeping during the day, so to compensate, we get up earlier... 6 instead of 6:30. Yes, yes I know.. don't complain, it's not that bad. I just really love my sleep okay?? :)

As far as my thought for the week. I read this scripture in church yesterday and it really hit me... 

"Murmur not because of the things which thou hast not seen, for they are withheld from thee and from the world, which is wisdom in me in a time to come." -D&C 25:4

I really like this scripture... I feel like there are a lot of things that I have been promised from the Lord. And a lot of those blessings that I'm very much looking forward to have not shown their face to me yet... it just reminded me that we have to be patient. This life isn't about immediate rewards, it's about stretching ourselves and growing as much as possible. And a lot of times, that comes from waiting. 

I take a lot of peace in this scripture... 

"Who am I, saith the Lord, that have promised and have not fulfilled?" -D&C 58:31

The Lord will always fulfill His promises, we just have to have faith in Him and His timing for us. Because His timing is perfect and better than anything we could ever hope for ourselves. 

Ju dua,

Motra Missy

 

Sis. white and I on top of the clock tower in the Tirana center.

Some beautiful handmade Albanian traditional dress.

My new favorite thing in the entire world!! Teaching these AMAZING girls on the roof of their building that their whole extended family lives in. Not only is the view beautiful, these girls are amazing and I love them more than anything that I can even describe! Oh man, I feel so blessed to be here right now.

The boys, they're cousins of the girls and live in the same building. The middle one told Sis. White that he was going to protect her from all the bad men annoying her with his karate. We're definitely a fan of him :)

 

May 19, 2014

Remember how earthquakes terrify me? I woke up to an earthquake in the middle of the night. Can I just tell you how much I DON'T like waking up to my bed shaking and feeling like I'm going to die in cement rubble? hahaha I know my fear of earthquakes is irrational, but for being afraid of them and having gone from never experienced them to having had 7 now is not helping!

On another topic, I love being with Sis. White. She's such a wonderful companion :) Y'all just needed to know that :)

From when we skyped last week, I forgot to mention a funny story in my email ....

Sis. White has two sisters who are preggers, so she was trying to tell them how to say "I am pregnant" in Albanian.... the connection wasn't that great, so it ended up being her practically yelling over and over and over again.... "I AM PREGNANT!".... in a crowded internet cafe.

Hahahaha, oh man.... soooo funny hahaha She definitely got looks.

We had an activity this last week with 2nd and 4th ward about member missionary work. Us missionaries put it on. We made a list of ways that members can do their own missionary work and then we did skits of what to and what not to do as far as sharing the gospel goes. We had volunteers help which made the skits pretty impromptu and very funny. I would say it was a success :) I think my favorite skit was with the RS Pres from my ward. We told her to be ashamed of the missionaries that were teaching her a lesson once one of her friends came over for a visit. It started out with her sitting at a table with the missionaries singing before a lesson... she gets a knock on the door.... it's her close friend... so she runs and hides the missionaries behind the curtains and opens the door and tells her that she's alone and no, singing? What singing? There was no singing.... hahaha, oh man, it was sooo funny :) 

As far as a spiritual thought this week, I thought I would share an experience that I had.

This last week was a wonderful and awful one all at the same time. I thought I would just be totally open about it to all of you because you never know when someone else is struggling with the same exact thing.

My whole life I've never really had doubts about the church. I've always just known it to be true. I guess you could consider that a blessing. I sure never complained about it :)

So I find it ironic that when I'm living the most righteously in my entire life, is when I'm struggling with the most doubts that I have ever experienced. This last week was especially hard. I don't know what it was... but I feel like the adversary was hitting me at every possible angle that he possibly could. I was feeling attacked, depressed, anxious, all that horrible stuff ... missionary work was the LAST thing I wanted to do. I've never wanted to go home so bad as I did this last week. It all kind of escalated on Saturday. Despite all efforts, I couldn't feel the spirit, I couldn't focus, I absolutely did not want to go out and teach... It was awful! and I was so confused because I wasn't being disobedient, my studies weren't slacking and my prayers weren't either... so why? Why was I feeling the way I was? Why was I doubting my faith like I never had before? In that moment I made a decision that I think will bless me for the rest of my life.... I made the choice that even though everything seemed absolutely insane and crazy and illogical and unreasonable... I was going to believe. I was going to choose to believe. And so I put on a skirt and we went out to teach. I still didn't want to, but I did it anyways.

We went to teach our recent convert sisters who are amazing. We were teaching about missionary work. I was so scared about having to bear testimony, because I wasn't feeling ANYTHING... but during the lesson, their cousins walked in the room and our recent converts looked at us and said, "oh, we've been teaching them about the gospel and they want to get baptized... that's missionary work right?" hahahaha, yes, yes that is you angels hahaha

In that moment, I looked at their cousins and I saw how much God loved them, how much potential they had and how much the gospel was going to bless their lives. In that moment, that mist of darkness that I had been practically swimming in lifted. My faith returned. The doubts left. And what remained was a deep and comforting peace that I know only comes from the Savior.

During those moments I kept thinking to myself, what is wrong with me?! Why am I feeling this doubt? I'm supposed to have faith and not fear! But I don't think there was anything wrong with me... I think sometimes the "mists of darkness" are thick and we really can't see anything at all. It's those moments when we have to practice our agency and decide what we're going to believe in. It's those moments that decide who we are.... are we going to run from our faith and abandon God because it seems easier? Or are going to hold fast to the iron rod and hope that the mist parts soon so that the light of the gospel can warm our hearts and bring us that peace. We will not receive a witness until after the trial of our faith... trials aren't supposed to be easy. And doubt can be very tempting. And "Satan don't kick no dead dog." We have to decide now what we're going to believe in. And sometimes, even though it doesn't make sense, we have to just choose to trust in God.... but I can promise you, that it will always, ALWAYS pay off in the end. That witness will come. God has promised it to us and I can promise you that if we hold on and keep pressing forward, feasting on the word of God, we WILL have that witness. 

Trust in God, He loves you and is looking out for you.

Motra Missy

 

We didn't have gloves to scrub our shower so we improvised.

The pyramid in Tirana. I don't know what it was originally... I just know not to go there at night haha

Also, old men play chess and dominoes ev-e-ry where. It's kind of adorable and very funny... here's a picture of a few...

Had a fabulous pday with the sisters from my MTC group, love them!

We went to the artificial lake for pday today... I was hesitant. Anything outdoors with artificial in it's name sounds very unappealing... but it was actually so beautiful and my favorite pday out in tirana yet!

 

May 12, 2014

Tiiiirrrrraaaaannnnnnaaaaaaaa..... has monkeys in petstores :)

I'm having to get creative with my email subject line. It's getting difficult to not have repeats.

We're already halfway through this transfer :( Boo.... I love Motra White! This transfer has been too awesome!

Speaking of, we had another baptism this past weekend! A fabulous girl who I adore. She's been an active non-member for 10 years. That girl is a rock star. Everyone loves her. We had as many people show up to her baptism that we have come to church every week haha

Okay, boo, I can't think of anything this week and I don't have my planner from last week which is basically my head... so what I'm trying to say is that I don't have my head right now. 

Skyping home was awesome!! I got to see my sister for the first time in a year! Wow did that year go by fast. I loved seeing family though. It feels like yesterday I was living at home.

I'm just going to go to my spiritual thought haha

I was reading in Luke 17 about the ten lepers. It's a story that shows the importance of gratitude. Christ heals 10 lepers and only one of them comes back to thank Him and praise God for everything that Christ did for him. I think it's a beautiful story. Something else that caught my eye was that when the one leper came back to thank Christ and praise God after being healed, Christ said something significant to him that I had never caught before. Because the leper "returned to give glory to God", Christ said to him, "Arise, go thy way: thy faith hath made thee whole." 

Ya see, this leper had already been healed of his physically infirmities. And because he gave thanks and glory to God and turned to Christ, he was then healed from his spiritual infirmities. And that healing, spiritual healing, is the greater gift. His body would still die, but his spirit being healed would only lead to eternal life. 

Christ taught in many parables. His life was also a parable for those who wanted a deeper and greater understanding. He healed many of their physical problems but that is not His purpose. He came to this world so that "whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Christ can heal us spiritually, to help us be in a position to receive that everlasting life. 

So when life gets hard, when we have trials, when we have physical infirmities that just never end... we shouldn't think "why are these not being taken away?" Because that's not why we're here. It's those experiences that help up grow to prepare us for something better. But we can still be healed. We can still have our hearts repaired and our spirit mended and then we come out all the stronger. We just have to turn to Christ.

Much love my friends,

Motra Missy

The fabulous baptism. And I got to hang out with rockin' sisters from my MTC group plus some! Love them all these sisters soooo much.

May 5, 2014

Yup, it's Monday again! What the what? How'd that happen so fast? I don't know either...

Random things from the week.

I saw an Alaskan license plate...... I don't think I really need to comment on this because, yes, I was as confused as you are. 

I saw fireflies for the first time!!!!!!!! Best day ever!!!!

I've officially been a missionary for 6 months now. Woo! We celebrated by eating a giant tray of treleçe. Don't judge me.

We were teaching a lesson and in the middle of the lesson I felt something under my sleeve. A ball of string? Maybe? I dunno. So I dig it out with my finger. Yup, it was definitely a giant, disgusting, black, huge, winged bug that was now unpleasantly squooshed under my finger. Did I die? Absolutely. I was trying not to gag while Sis. White and our recent convert got the rest of it out from under my sleeve while laughing hysterically. Hang drying clothes outside. I don't trust it anymore.

Sis. White and I were both pretty sick this last week and so not too much happened besides lots of tissues and naps between lessons... I know how exciting that is haha BUT! We did have a baptism this last week of the most fabulous nëna ever! Goodness I love her. I'm so happy for her. It was a really special day. AND! We have a baptism next week, too! She's basically been an investigator for about 10 years now... she's 16 and when her brother, a member, announced to everyone in fast and testimony meeting that she was getting baptized, there was an audible gasp. It's pretty exciting. I definitely did nothing to make this happen, it's pretty cool though that I get to be the missionary with her when she's finally made this wonderful choice.

I love this scripture... talking about God's children,

"...for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust."

Hard times and good times come to everyone. It doesn't matter how righteous we are, it doesn't matter how good of people we are or how bad of people for that matter. It doesn't matter if we serve, don't serve, love or don't love... hard times and good times come to everyone. The only control we have is what we do with those hard times. Are we going to grow? Are we going to stay close to the Lord? Are we going to end up better people with a more firm foundation? Or are we going to crumble? 

For those of you in hard times... I love this quote from Elder Holland.

"Trust in God. Hold on in His love. Know that one day the dawn will break brightly and all shadows of mortality will flee."

God loves you. That doesn't take away the rain, but it sure does bring peace to know that everything will be okay in the long run.

Të puth fortë.

Motra Russell

 

for all you Doctor Who fans hahaha

Some lovely scenery.

And and one of my favorite people came to visit Tirana!! Sis. Singer!!

 

April 28, 2014

This last week. Wow. So rad. (Apparently people don't use that word, am I uncool?)

Also, every time (and by every time I actually mean about 5 times) people read my name tag they say "Russell... oh! Russell Crow!" ..... I guess??

First off, we had two baptisms of the most amazing sisters in the world!! It was so beautiful and I was so overwhelmed with joy. I am thrilled for them. They were truly prepared for this. 

But wow was I dying of laughter! The oldest sister walks into the font to get baptized first.... The bishopric member has her grab his wrist, the usual routine. She takes a deep breath, says a preparatory okay and "one, two, thr...." 

"NO NO NO NO!!!" 

She was totally ready to dunk herself :)

Oh man, we got served the worst thing I've ever been served at a lesson before. It was, I kid you not, the most sugary thing I have ever in my life encountered. It was basically a dried angel hair pasta type thing soaked in sugar then soaked in syrup then dipped in sugar then drowned in syrup for good measure then frosted on top then chocolate chips and then a cherry on top, you can't forget the cherry. I literally thought I was going to die right then and there. I've never not finished something served to me! I was determined to finish! I was almost done and decided to just bite the bullet and take a huuuge bite to get it over with and I put that huuuugggee bite in my mouth and my body screamed, "I HATE YOU!!" and wouldn't let me swallow it! So I bent over and pretended to scratch my head to hide that I was trying so hard not to laugh and throw up at the same time. I FINALLY got that sick wad of sugary mess down my throat and instantly lost 5 years off my life. I am ashamed to say that no, I did not finish it, I had 2 bites left :( I literally could not do it. I put it in a nice little pile on my plate instead to make it look like I had eaten more than I actually did... yes, like 6 year olds do.

Sis. White and I both accidentally yelled out "NARWHAL!" after seeing a picture of one pop up on a tv screen on the bus. We definitely got a LOT of looks. 

That same tv also played a world report of two cats playing laser tag... is that what's really happening in the world right now?? Because uh... haha

Oh man, favorite story of the week.

We go over to some investigators house who are rockstars and we adore. Two sisters. It's the older sisters birthday. It's a pretty common tradition in Albania to buy other people gifts and treats for your birthday. So Dori, a fabulous and wonderful member who we have all gotten so close to calls to say she's coming over for our lesson... They immediately start panicking, they have to get her something! The older sister tells her younger sister some quick instructions to go to a local shop and get some earrings... problem, it's Sunday. So we immediately tell them no no no! It's Sunday! You can't do that on Sunday! 

They give us a confused look.

We give them a confused look right back, we definitely taught them Sabbath day.

They say, oh!! okay, we'll just buy it and give them the money tomorrow!

No! It doesn't work that way! hahaha

(I'm laughing soooo hard by this point...)

They think that we just aren't understanding the language, we tell them we definitely are. They say, but we aren't working! 

It doesn't matter, THEY are having to work when you buy things on Sunday!

But it's my birthday!!

It's still Sunday!

But Dori will love it!

Dori will be sooooo much happier if you keep the Sabbath day holy than if you bought her a gift, we promise!!

Literally right as we were saying that, Dori walks in with a box in her hand...................

I bought you a cake!!! 

*face in palm* Are you kidding me? hahahahahahaha it was too ironic, the timing was too perfect, we died laughing hahahahaha Apparently she bought it because it was her birthday, didn't help our argument at all :P

Okay, now for my thought for the day after this crazy long email...

I love the story in 2 Kings 5:10-14... Naaman was asked by Elisha's servant, not even Elisha in person, to wash in a dirty river to be clean. It wasn't a grand healing, it wasn't anything amazing, it was a boring river with nothing grand. Naaman was ticked and left not doing it. My favorite part is in verse 13...

"My father, if the prophet had bid thee do some ^agreat thing, wouldest thou not have done it? how much rather then, when he saith to thee, Wash, and be clean?"

He then washes in the river and is healed. 

The gospel is so much like this. Sometimes reading the scriptures every day and saying prayers can seem so simple and so mundane. Sometimes answers to prayers aren't amazing. But that doesn't mean any of it isn't adequate. That doesn't mean it isn't exactly what we need to heal.

"O my son, do not let us be slothful because of the easiness of the way;..."

Alma 37:44-47

Living the gospel is exactly what we need to be healed from the trials and burdens of life. "Life is hard, not the gospel."

I promise that the Atonement is enough for us. Living how Christ taught us to live is enough for us. And it's exactly what we need to be so happy :) So do it and be happy!

Motra Missy

 

some pretty views ...

our new pet cactus named Bëdi! (buddy haha)