drug deal neil

I found a strange note on my car last week asking about if I knew a good "herboligist" and to meet him in the parking lot at 2:30 on Monday with proof of the "herboligists" degree signed Neil.... not only was it sketchy, it kind of sounded like a drug deal.
I went out to do yard work super early yesterday morning and found a bag full of crushed malt balls (I think?) and a note that said "Since you didn't pick up your stuff earlier, I thought I'd bring it by for you. -Neil"
I compared handwriting and the notes were written by two different people. I think the first was a fluke and the second is someone trying to mess with me. But still, who is Drug Deal Neil?!

So Drug Deal Neil, if you're reading this, I have a few things to say to you.
First. You should reveal yourself to me. Yup, I'm thinking I need to know who you are.
Second. I don't like malt balls, I think they're disgusting. Next time you should use crushed kit kats or something. Even though they may be laced with crack, I'd be a little more tempted to eat them.
That's all.
I hope to meet you soon creeper.



"‘Well,’ you may ask, ‘how may I know when I am in love?’
“That is a very important question. A fellow student and I considered that query one night as we walked together. As boys of that age frequently do, we were talking about girls. Neither he nor I knew whether or not we were in love. Of course I had not then met my present sweetheart. In answer to my question, ‘How may we know when we are in love?’ he replied: ‘My mother once said that if you meet a girl in whose presence you feel a desire to achieve, who inspires you to do your best, and to make the most of yourself, such a young woman is worthy of your love and is awakening love in your heart.
“I submit that as a true guide. In the presence of the girl you truly love you do not feel to grovel; in her presence you do not attempt to take advantage of her; in her presence you feel that you would like to be everything that a [great man] should become, for she will inspire you to that ideal. And I ask you young women to cherish that same guide. What does he inspire in you? … When a young man accompanies you after a meeting, or after a dance, and he shows an inclination to use you as a convenience or as a means of gratification, then you may put it down that he is not prompted by love.
“Under such circumstances, no matter how fascinated you may be, young woman, no matter how confident you may feel that you love him, let your judgment rule and be master of your feelings. It may grieve you not to follow the inclination of your heart, but you had better be pained a little in your youth than to suffer pangs of torture later” 
-President David O. Mckay (Gospel Ideals [Salt Lake City: Improvement Era, 1953], pp. 459–60).

I love this. I think about it a lot, how ending up with someone that I not only love but who inspires me to be a better person is so important to me.



I just had the most surreal experience...

I found an old picture of Jordan and me on my computer and I looked at him and thought... I used to be married to that guy... And it was the most foreign feeling I've ever had, like it never even happened. Like he was a complete stranger and it was a weird dream I had once upon a time. Like it never even existed.



... is a beautiful day.

I fell hard for a guy, someone who I had kind of dated for a bit a short time back. We'll call him Charlie. When I finally warmed up to the idea of actually dating someone (exclusively I mean... which btw, has never happened since my divorce), it was too late. A little chica swept in and snatched him out of nowhere.... I was heartbroken to say the least....
Until a friend of mine (we'll call him Theodore or Theo for short) texted me and asked if I wanted to talk, I think he knew something was wrong and that I was bothered by the whole Charlie so suddenly finding a new girl thing. So he came and picked me up and we drove and talked and drove and talked. It was exactly what I needed. He helped me put into perspective what really mattered and reminded me that despite what happened, I am worth it and I am a treasure.
I really like Theo, we connect so well because of similar experiences we've both had and I feel like we've created a kind support system because of it. It's so good to have a friend who you can lean on and who understands how you're feeling.

And that is why it's a beautiful day :)

PS- All the names I give to people on my blog link back to their actual names. It's a pretty fun game if you can figure it out ;)


goodbye sister dearest

We dropped Jessy off at the MTC today.
It was definitely bittersweet to be cliche. She's going to be such a great missionary, her warm and inviting personality is going to open so many doors for her. It's hard not to love her and having the spirit like she will, I don't know anyone who'll be able to resist listening to her :) I really am proud of her for the life that she's lived and the choices that she's made. She's such a loving person and has touched a lot of lives, I'm excited to see how many more lives she's going to touch.
Really, I'm just proud to say that I'm her sister.



My family went on a ski trip a couple weeks ago to Montana. My brother lives there and we wanted to visit him as a last family hurrah before Jessy leaves on her mission. It was so much fun and so so beautiful. I never thought I'd like skiing so much :)


more portraits of the sister

Since she leaves so soon, we've been doing a lot of shoots. I mean, she is my favorite model :)
These are some of my favorites.
Mmmm... she is so lovely.