"it's a brand new day, I know I'll be okay"

The past few days have been very difficult. I've been overall happy these past few weeks, but these past few days have been killer. All I want to do is stay in bed, listen to sad love songs and cry. It's a blessing I have responsibilities that I have to keep up with otherwise my life would completely fall apart. It's been so hard to see past all the dead ends that just keep popping up in every direction. I just have to remind myself that no matter how dark my life is right now, it's going to get better.

And just as I write this, our wedding song came up on pandora. And it's our wedding anniversary.... sigh....

I just feel like I keep getting beat down and beat down and beat down and I'm struggling to stay standing. But I'll press forward. I'll live life to the best of my ability and pray for the strength to keep living when I feel like I just can't anymore.
A friend in church asked me if I was getting divorced and I told them yes and then they told me that they had been divorced and for the first time I talked to someone who really understood how all of this felt. It was so refreshing. They talked about how the only way I'll get through it is if I rely on the Lord. I've heard that so many times but it was different hearing it from someone who's been down the same path that I'm on right now. Then they said something that was almost word for word from my patriarchal blessing and was also in theirs. It was something that confused me and had been frustrating and had also been confusing to them, but when they explained what it meant to them, it made sense to me. I felt better talking to them and I felt like I was going to be okay. It was a blessing for sure.

As my brother would say, "if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off." I guess I'm glad I'm not falling off the earth right now :)

Want to see a funny music video that has kind of been my theme song these past couple months? :)
Everything just has to go wrong sometimes ha ha ha.... 

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